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3 Tips To Earn The Respect, Trust And Love Of Your Child As A Single Parent
Parenting is a journey that keeps going until the end, but when you are doing it as a single parent, your fragile shoulders are made to bear the often overwhelming weight of responsibility. It used to be a whole village bringing up a child, but these days we have single parents doing it. Raising a child alone automatically means that you will be subjected to different roles. Roles like a protector, provider, nurturer, and disciplinarian, and you do all of these while making sure that your child grows up to be a good, and successful person in society.
But one thing that is a source of concern for single parents is to earn and maintain the respect, love and trust of their child/children. Parents will love for their children to respect them, firstly because they are the parents, and secondly because of the sacrifices. They also would love their children to love them as much as they love them. Lastly, Parents would love for their children to trust them enough to tell them things, secrets, and truth.
This is how they can feel relaxed, and able to protect their children. Parents are always hurt when they notice that there is a growing gap between them and their children. Parents do hurt when they observe that their children are keeping a secret from them. How do we achieve this? Below are the three qualities for single parents to possess, to have a strong relationship with their children.
1. Correct, Don’t Abuse, Discipline with Love and Fairness
Discipline is an essential part of raising a child, it is something that is balanced between two-parent households. ‘One bad cop and one good cop’ parent households give children a good balance, so a single parent is always going to keep playing catch-up to find a balance in a life that is meant for two people, single-handedly playing a role that gets overwhelming for two people. You take up the role of a good cop and a bad cop at the same time. You want to retain the love of your children, but you know you have to correct them so they don’t become a nuisance to the family and society.
But it must always come from a place of love rather than punishment. Avoid all forms of abuse, physical, mental, sexual, emotional, psychological, and financial. As a single parent, you might experience stress and frustration, but it’s crucial to never take these emotions out on your child. Children get old enough to have empathy towards the parents’ experience, the parents’ deprivation as a result of the life they have been left with, and they survived it, not just survive, they also raised a child, or children from it.
A child who experiences abuse or excessive punishment is more likely to fear their parent rather than respect them. Instead of using harsh discipline, focus on correction. Set clear expectations and consequences, and always follow through with consistency.
The saying, “Spare the rod and spoil the child,” is often misunderstood. Discipline does not mean inflicting harm, but rather teaching right from wrong in a firm yet loving manner. Correct your child when necessary, but also provide guidance and reassurance. When they understand that your goal is to help them grow into a better person, they will trust and respect you rather than resent you.
2. Train Them, Don’t Just Let Them Grow
Parenting is more of an active responsibility, not a passive one. Many parents assume that their job of parenting is done as long as they provide shelter, food, and education to their children. However, in the real sense, children need guidance, mentorship, and intentional training. No matter what you do, these children will grow, but are well trained, or just increasing in size? If you do not actively train your child, society will shape them in ways you may disagree with. The friends, the street, and just about anybody can train your child for you, and they may not be in any way good for the child.
Teaching values such as honesty, kindness, resilience, hard work, and a good sense of responsibility, start at home. Help them develop skills that will prepare them for life, such as responsibility, decision-making, and problem-solving. Engage them in conversations about real-life situations, teach them about handling emotions, and encourage good habits like discipline and time management.
Lead by example, children often model their behaviour based on what they see. If you want them to be respectful, show them respect. If you want them to be responsible, demonstrate responsibility in your actions. Your active involvement in their personal growth fosters a deeper bond of trust and love.
3. Do Not See Your Child as a Means to Financial Freedom
One of the greatest mistakes any parent can make is seeing their child as a financial investment rather than a human being with dreams, passions, aspirations, and in need of strong guidance. While it is natural to hope that your child becomes successful, their success should not be seen as your escape route from financial struggles. A shouldn’t get so desperate that they abandon
As a single parent, you are the provider. Your child is not responsible for paying the bills or securing your future. It is unfair to burden them with financial security, whether through excessive pressure to excel academically, pushing them into careers they don’t enjoy, or expecting them to support you financially at an early age.
Instead, support their passions and talents. If those passions eventually lead to financial success, that’s wonderful, but their obligation should never be. Please give them the freedom to grow into their potential rather than forcing them to fulfil an expectation they did not set for themselves. A child who feels valued for who they are rather than what they can provide will always have love and respect for their parent.
Conclusion
Earning the respect, trust, and love of your child as a single parent is a journey that requires patience, dedication, and a deep understanding of your child’s needs. By disciplining with fairness rather than abuse, actively training them rather than letting them grow without guidance, and supporting their dreams without making them a financial escape plan, you build a strong foundation for a loving and respectful relationship.
Your child looks to you for leadership, security, and unconditional love. By being the best role model you can be, you create an environment where trust, love, and respect flourish naturally. Single parenting may be challenging, but with the right approach, it can also be proudly done with deep rewards.
